Tag Archive | polytheists with disabilities

Fallow times.

I’m going through a painful fallow time brought upon a relapse on my mental health. A writer’s block has become a unwanted companion as well, I’m mostly on Tumblr where I can express myself more freely or with the reblog of other people’s words.
It’s been difficult to say the least, constant changes in medications and treatments left me more unbalanced.

This affected my relationships with my Gods and Spirits, making me feel shame of who I am, of how little I have to offer and how I lack qualities.

I wonder why did they chose me or accepted me, did they really?

I can’t imagine being loved or important to anyone, not by humans, less by Gods.

I love my Gods and it hurts.

I worry I will be abandoned or worse, it was never real.

Lately I doubt myself, about everything.

Yet I still remember my Stag King’s presence in my childhood, while my mind was saved by escaping far away, I remember my Brother, kind and fierce and protective, I remember meeting the Mother and behind all the authority I felt Her care and a warm heart who carries the weight of world on Her shoulders.

I remember Them and I will sustain that quiet devotion of keeping the love I feel for Them alive in my heart until I recover more of my health, this is what I have to offer and I hope it is accepted.